Once upon a time, not too long ago and not too far
away, there were two magical kingdoms nestled on the vast shore of a great
inland sea known as Lakeland. Lakeland
was an earthly paradise of green woods, towering cliffs and shimmering lakes
bounded by a sky so blue, that water and air seemed as one. The waters of the
inland sea seemed bottom less and the two kingdoms were surrounded by vast
swaths of the most aromatic and verdant pines.
The winter had a crystalline crispness that took away one’s breath with its
austere majesty while the summers saw long sultry days with a sun that barely
set before midnight. On such summer days, the nobles and their subjects danced
together far into the night blissfully unaware of the swirling turmoil in the
world around them.
Alas, troubled times had come to the Two
Kingdoms. A great plague had descended upon the land and the people had
retreated with fear into their homes.
Crime and pestilence plagued the once happy peasants and burghers and
the High Council of Nobles appeared increasingly at a loss to restore happiness
to their domain. They would suggest grand projects and quests to give the
people hope but all the people wanted was a return to some semblance of a
happier time. The Nobles called upon their most loyal retainer and Chief Warden
who went by the name of Norman to suggest a way out of the time of troubles.
However, even he was hard pressed to solve all the problems given they had been
complicated by the springing of numerous leaks in the town’s aqueducts.
Poor Norman faced a dilemma. His most important role as Chief Warden was denoted
by his second title as Keeper of the Palace Buckets. Water from the aqueducts
to the palace was kept in many buckets and it was Norman’s role to make sure
the buckets were filled and then emptied. However, there was so much demand for
water from the Nobles that the task was never ending, and poor Norman constantly
juggled buckets that were empty with others that were overflowing and had to be
poured into other buckets. Some years there was too much water at the palace
while other years there was not enough.
The Nobles were frustrated given that sometimes
they had plenty of water while other times there was not enough for their baths
and regattas. Norman tried to explain that he had one hundred buckets to fill
and even if some buckets had too much water, it was difficult to then fill
buckets that needed more on the other side of the palace given the large number
of buckets and the size of the palace. Indeed, Norman had too many buckets to
keep track of and that was part of the problem. There had been a time of fewer
buckets but over the years more and more buckets had been added and that had
been Norman’s crafty doing to placate the Nobles.
It turns out the nobles were not terribly good at
maths. Even when the total amount of
water was the same, the silly Nobles thought there was more water at the palace
if there simply were more buckets. So, Norman made ten buckets become 20 and
then 50 and then 100. Indeed, Norman was not even sure how many buckets there
actually were, but the Nobles were so happy if they had their own bucket and
access to many more that Norman was reluctant to change things. Norman thought
of trying to manage the buckets better by making a list, but he soon found he
just had too many buckets and not enough time or water.
So, what was Norman to do? Well, the responsible thing to do was simply
to come clean and tell the nobles there had to be fewer buckets – and indeed –
maybe some of the buckets should be consolidated into a few large cisterns. True,
some of the Nobles might have to do with less but given all the leaky pipes in
the Two Kingdoms, the enormous expense of the plague, and all other troubles
afflicting the realm, surely more bath water for the Nobles could wait.
Instead, as Keeper of the Palace Buckets, Norman
decided it would be wiser to keep his head from rolling by suggesting that a
shining knight on a white charger might miraculously appear and make it rain
buckets. Or perhaps, the Nobles could
employ another wizard to cast a spell and conjure buckets and water out of thin
air. Or maybe, the Great Emperor of the
Southern Empire could be petitioned for more buckets of water. Or better yet,
ask the peasants to provide more water for the Palace.
In the end, magical promises could buy time but
not fill buckets. After all, if the
demand for buckets exceeds supply, no magic in the universe can change the
outcome. The most convenient decision was simply to ask the peasants to provide
more water for the palace. After all, what are peasants for if not to provide
for their betters in life? One could have asked the Nobles to fill more buckets
themselves and dip less but as has already been mentioned, they were not
terribly good at math. Sadly, people who are not good at maths are not destined
to live happily ever after.
The End.
